But God

You know, it’s funny how intimidating your own success can be.

While my last post hardly “went viral,” it garnered more hits in one day than any of my other posts, and over the course of a week outperformed any of my previous months of blogging. So, in my tiny little fledgling blogger world, that was pretty successful. It came time to write again, and I was like, how do I follow that?

Which is kind of a weird thing to say of yourself.

I haven’t necessarily been waiting to post until I had something that would blow your minds, but, at least if you know me personally, this might just blow your mind…

Baby #4!

Baby on board!

That’s right, I’m having a baby!

Not particularly noteworthy in the context of world events, but it’s pretty major in my life for a couple of reasons. First, I mean, it’s a baby and all, which is more significant to the mother than pretty much anyone else in that child’s upcoming life. Secondly, my older three kids are super close in age, so this one coming four years later is a bit of “starting over” for our family.

Mostly, though, this is a big deal because this isn’t my 4th baby. It’s my 6th.

New Year’s Day 2014, my husband and I sat up late that night and talked about the great sense of anticipation we had about the coming year. We had been feeling a build-up of spiritual tension in our lives, and we felt we were on the edge of breakthrough. We didn’t have a clear picture of what God had in store for us, but we knew it was big. We were so excited  to learn what surprises the year had in store.

Surprises indeed. After 3 healthy, complication-free pregnancies between 2007 and 2011, I had 2 miscarriages in the first 6 months of 2014. I knew it to be true before I had lost a child, but I could not have understood the searing pain of loss one feels after a miscarriage, regardless of the gestational age. In the last year, I have been so broken, so angry, so ready to give up hope.

But God.

Those are my favorite scriptures, when you know how things ought to go, the way things appear to be going, BUT GOD steps in and changes the plan. He makes a way where there seems to be no way, and out of the ashes of our pain, he brings healing and joy and LIFE.

This is my story, and I invite you to follow me on the journey. Happy 2015, y’all.

“My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart:
he is mine forever.” Psalm 73:26

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9 thoughts on “But God

  1. I understand that pain, Mary Beth, and it doesn’t ever really go away no matter how many subsequent children you have or how many years go by. I pray you and Jeremy have an uneventful ( meaning healthy) pregnancy. I’m sending you a link to a blog done by a woman from my hometown. Just a Girl with Something to Say. She lost twins, and then her husband left her. It’s sad at times, but somehow inspiring too. I’m so happy for you.

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  2. Hey!! I am so excited for you. Many don’t know but, I had a miscarriage right before Christmas last year so I understand all the emotions you felt and still feel, I can’t imagine going through that loss twice. Your story is inspiring. Thanks and CONGRATULATIONS!!

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  3. So excited for you. I know the pain of miscarriage (2 so far) and the joy of welcoming a little one afterwards. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months!

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  4. Just came across your blog. Imagine my surprise since I know you outside of blogland. One click lead to another and here I am…
    Yes! But God. My husband and I have three precious children on this earth, and three precious babies we never got to meet. (Clotting conditions…another story for another day.) I know those feeling of loss all too well. BUT GOD! There is so much healing and emotion in those two words. Beautiful post! Wishing you the very best with this pregnancy.

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    • Thank you, Jennifer! We discovered last month that I also have 2 clotting conditions that never caused any problems with the first 3 pregnancies! Now I’m #teamlovenox with those daily shots in the tummy. Worth it though! Thanks for sharing.

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  5. Pingback: Gender Reveal! | Unthank You Very Much

  6. Pingback: I Lie in the Dust | Unthank You Very Much

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