Well, it seems the next logical step after announcing one’s pregnancy is to start taking pictures, right? I’ve actually been taking pictures for a while, despite the early stage of my pregnancy. It seems that after 3 normal pregnancies, one’s body recognizes those hormones and says, “Hey! We know how to do this! Alright, organs, lets moooooove on up!”
I like to imagine my stomach saying that to my lungs. Because they have been next-door neighbors since about week 8.
Feeling pregnant has been sort of an ambiguous mash-up of a huge range of emotions. My husband (bless his heart) often asks me to explain how I am feeling, to which I generally reply, “Ya know, I mean, I dunno, just like… I dunno.”
First, there’s excitement. Of course there is. Then, pretty much immediately following comes the anxiety. The oh-God-I-can’t-bear-another-loss feeling of what if. The first few weeks were a big, beautiful/ugly mess of both of those. The doctors gave a confusing combination of “looks good” and “we don’t really know” for several weeks. I kept praying to throw up.
Pregnancy following a miscarriage is probably the only time in a woman’s life she will beg God for morning sickness.
Hallelujah, it came. It came with discomfort and general body changes and wicked insomnia (that one’s a new symptom for me).
Then came my belly. Seriously, already?! I wasn’t entirely sure if it was a combination of my lack of gym time (from the sickness and insomnia) and “safety” eating (for the baby, of course), or if I could honestly be showing so soon. Then I overheard that pesky conversation between my stomach and lungs, and I realized they were just doing their job waaaayyy sooner than necessary. At least they’ll already be in place when baby starts kicking, right?
Strange realization about pregnancy after loss… You feel SUPER guilty for not being SUPER excited all the time. Can I please just be honest with you and admit that I am not SUPER excited to have a gigantic belly again? After several years of literally working my butt off and losing 60+ pounds, it is a huge mental challenge to get used to a growing belly (and hips — thanks for that, lack of gym time and “safety” eating).
My husband and I went to a conference that weekend when I was 11 weeks. I had to leave early one night to run to Target for maternity pants because I was so uncomfortable. (I ended up with leggings. Maybe I’ll save that conversation for a post that I want to go viral. Ha!) Thankfully my friend gave me a belly band I was able to use with my normal pants for a few more weeks.
…Until now. As of Wednesday I am 14 weeks pregnant, so a little over 3 months for those of you who don’t like math. Last weekend I bought the one pair of maternity pants-pants that I will be wearing until there are holes in them or it is warm enough to wear my leftover spring/summer maternity clothes from 4 years ago. So, don’t judge me for wearing the same pants every time you see me. I promise I am wearing a rotation of sweats, yoga pants and leggings at home.
I’m sure I will post more about my crazy emotions in the coming weeks, but I know you all are only here for the belly pics. So, now being into the 2nd trimester and fully adjusted to comfortable maternity wear, behold: I give you today’s abdominal engorgement…
Hope you enjoy! Have a happy Friday, everyone!