Baby Bump

Well, it seems the next logical step after announcing one’s pregnancy is to start taking pictures, right? I’ve actually been taking pictures for a while, despite the early stage of my pregnancy. It seems that after 3 normal pregnancies, one’s body recognizes those hormones and says, “Hey! We know how to do this! Alright, organs, lets moooooove on up!”

I like to imagine my stomach saying that to my lungs. Because they have been next-door neighbors since about week 8. 

Feeling pregnant has been sort of an ambiguous mash-up of a huge range of emotions. My husband (bless his heart) often asks me to explain how I am feeling, to which I generally reply, “Ya know, I mean, I dunno, just like… I dunno.”

First, there’s excitement. Of course there is. Then, pretty much immediately following comes the anxiety. The oh-God-I-can’t-bear-another-loss feeling of what if. The first few weeks were a big, beautiful/ugly mess of both of those. The doctors gave a confusing combination of “looks good” and “we don’t really know” for several weeks. I kept praying to throw up.

Pregnancy following a miscarriage is probably the only time in a woman’s life she will beg God for morning sickness.

Hallelujah, it came. It came with discomfort and general body changes and wicked insomnia (that one’s a new symptom for me).

Then came my belly. Seriously, already?! I wasn’t entirely sure if it was a combination of my lack of gym time (from the sickness and insomnia) and “safety” eating (for the baby, of course), or if I could honestly be showing so soon. Then I overheard that pesky conversation between my stomach and lungs, and I realized they were just doing their job waaaayyy sooner than necessary. At least they’ll already be in place when baby starts kicking, right?

Check me out at 9 weeks pregnant. Yes, I said NINE. Good grief.

Aaaand here I am at 11 weeks. Unable to wear normal pants.

Strange realization about pregnancy after loss… You feel SUPER guilty for not being SUPER excited all the time. Can I please just be honest with you and admit that I am not SUPER excited to have a gigantic belly again? After several years of literally working my butt off and losing 60+ pounds, it is a huge mental challenge to get used to a growing belly (and hips — thanks for that, lack of gym time and “safety” eating).

My husband and I went to a conference that weekend when I was 11 weeks. I had to leave early one night to run to Target for maternity pants because I was so uncomfortable. (I ended up with leggings. Maybe I’ll save that conversation for a post that I want to go viral. Ha!) Thankfully my friend gave me a belly band I was able to use with my normal pants for a few more weeks.

…Until now. As of Wednesday I am 14 weeks pregnant, so a little over 3 months for those of you who don’t like math. Last weekend I bought the one pair of maternity pants-pants that I will be wearing until there are holes in them or it is warm enough to wear my leftover spring/summer maternity clothes from 4 years ago. So, don’t judge me for wearing the same pants every time you see me. I promise I am wearing a rotation of sweats, yoga pants and leggings at home.

I’m sure I will post more about my crazy emotions in the coming weeks, but I know you all are only here for the belly pics. So, now being into the 2nd trimester and fully adjusted to comfortable maternity wear, behold: I give you today’s abdominal engorgement…

14 glorious weeks of swole.. and look! I put on makeup!

Hope you enjoy! Have a happy Friday, everyone!

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